How well do we really know ourselves? How can we know ourselves better? Psychology is an imperfect science—science continuously researches how to delve deeper into the psyche and develop continually improving treatment techniques. It is an ongoing process. We can now assess which mental activities emanate from certain parts of the brain, even which part may trigger emotions and certain physical actions, but we don’t yet know what prompts us to initiate thinking, creating, or believing in things.
So, there are lots of things we humans are constantly finding out about ourselves, ‘dots’ we are connecting. Our current world encourages us to ‘look good,’ exercise more, and stay fit–but seldom encourages us to look more at what is inside us, not just into how we feel, but at ‘what makes us tick.’
We Can Self-Help and Self-Excavate
When I refer to self-help, there are so many many books and articles available to delve more into how we can help ourselves in a number of ways many are quite good, so I won’t belabor going into that category. Instead, I’m going to be suggesting some less-discussed topics that we can explore to start to ‘excavate’ a little more that is hidden in ourselves.
Let’s start, as an example, with a fun topic. Signs. What is your sign? No, no, not your astrological sign, your ‘sign’ … what is it you scribble, that little ‘doodle’ you draw on your notepad or i-Pad while you are waiting, or bored? Take a look at what your scribble or draw; does it look like little squares, circles, stars? Or are they squiggles, swirly lines?
If you’ve ever taken a personality test, there are a few signs ascribed to each that identify characteristics, such as, a circle representing wholeness, unity; a square representing stability, organization; a triangle, action – up = positive, down = negative, fears or anxiety. Stars generally depict optimism and hope (a six-star representing a solid structure). Squggles or swirly lines could show more rambling thoughts, indecision, or just desires to ‘escape.’
If you don’t ‘doodle’, no big deal, you may daydream. Pay attention sometimes to the things that you notice or distract you, or you may yourself glancing around at the room décor or the clock and it gets you thinking … of your early life, or of family memories, or legends.
Doodles can mean more than they seem; they could be pointing to your subconscious thoughts and emotions—of aspirations, hope, or escape, frustration. They may simply depict a desire for change or completion. The unconscious selection and depiction of certain symbols, although seemingly random, may be something inside you ‘talking to you’ from your inner self. It might be fun to start noting what you scribble or doodle more to see if you tend to repeat them, and if so, what you may have been thinking at those moments. Again, if you do start paying a bit more attention to your thoughts and observations, you are continuing to add to the story of your own inner self.
Often people do not realize that they can merely go about their lives in their familiar habits, not paying attention to what goes on around them and living in their routines. Few seldom stop to think about it.
As you begin to observe more about yourself and your choices, it will be interesting to acknowledge honestly what you find you actually think about—and what you take for granted. Did you really think all those things occupying your mind by yourself or do you realize it is something you are supposed to think, or was taught to think as a child, thoughts embedded by family or by ‘media’?
Now, let’s do a fun experiment: hopefully you have some object that someone left you that you still have—or, if you don’t, maybe you’ve watched ‘Antiques Road Show’ on TV and know the show is about experts who look at antiques brought to them for appraisal. The experts tell the antique owner about what it is and the history of the item and approximate its worth. Often the item’s value surprises the owner who knew little about it.
Like the owners seeking value estimates, we inherit items we know little about, and often we know just as little about the relative who left the item to us. What we may never know is why, somehow, we were meant to have it. While we may have wondered what we would do with the item, now we can start to look at it again in a different way. We can think about what it may have meant to our relative or benefactor who owned it…do we know if they bought it, or was it a gift? It must have meant something to them. Was there an emotional attachment to it? We may never know for sure, unless a living relative remembers something about it and can tell us, otherwise we can only think about why they held on to it. But it gives us a little insight into the benefactor, her/his choices, and another piece of something about ourselves. It might be we find ourselves thinking more about who they were and what they were like. It might even get us to wondering if shards of them are still in us too.
Too often we move through our lives in a daze of routine, paying peripheral attention to anything outside our routine and we numb ourselves with social media. We seldom even know when we get mad about something until it mushrooms inside us, and then we mostly control it, or occasionally don’t. Still, we continue to rush to meetings, worry about anticipated challenges, and repeatedly try to make sure we work hard to ‘get things right.’
Instead, we can commit to try to take a few minutes every morning and tell ourselves to Wake Up! Pay a little attention to what is around us and give ourselves permission to be alive and acknowledge it is a new day.
If we allow ourselves to sense more of what is around us and what might be hiding from us ‘in the back of our minds’ trying to get noticed, we can begin to accumulate these observations over time. If we do,
there could be other pieces in the puzzle for us to discover, pieces that are part of our past and pieces that could preview the story that is part of our future.
