Sometimes feel like you’re in a funk and can’t seem to get out of it? Have you ever thought about why you may keep getting these thoughts? Let’s talk about that.
While it sometimes may seem like we can break out of a cycle we’re in, We can break negative cycles, or we can begin to amplify positive ones. How? By allowing ourselves to take a minute and ask—How can we see this differently?
We tend to think reality is the hell we may currently be going through, or that reality is just ‘out there’ waiting to be experienced, but philosopher Manuel Delaflor argues that experience, meaning, and ontology (general characteristics of being—existing), are active constructions, not passive observations of the world. Once we see that we didn’t just discover categories and identifications of things, these were created, not just discovered, then we can begin to realize that reality as we know it has been defined by us–humans. That shifts responsibility from simply accepting what we see by how things are defined to looking closer at what reality is as we see it now, and what reality we are choosing to create. Are we happy with the one we’ve got? If we are, then we should pay attention to it, to everything going on around us to the best of our ability.
We usually don’t pay much attention to our environment though. We kind of go through our days in a haze of routine. An example of this we can all relate to is driving—we mostly drive routinely without really thinking about the driving much, but other things, paying minimal attention to the cars around us. But change can happen in an instant and often does so when we least expect it,. Suddenly there is a crisis and we need to instantly respond. At that moment we must put all our effort into surviving it. To carry that example further, our everyday lives are like that too—sudden changes—a layoff, a hurricane, earthquake, tornedo, or cancer, can instantly change our world we have known. So, how can we deal with those kinds of issues? Obviously, there is not just ‘one right way,’ but if we allow ourselves to try to begin thinking about things differently, we can move to seeing what might be a bigger picture of what is happening. If we ask ourselves how can we see this differently, we can begin to see more options outlining future steps. When we do this there can begin to be more clarity than we were able to see before.
But we need to take some time to get in touch with ourselves, to sit still long enough to have that clarity of purpose. We do that by starting to pay more attention to everything going on around us, getting a more ‘panoramic view.’ Sometimes we are forced to do it due to a crisis, but we can also do it proactively. Once we look clearly at what is going on around us, we can look more objectively at where we are in that picture. We can see more options and decide what we want as the outcome.
We also need to commit to examining unexplored aspects of ourselves to discover what is actually our purpose buried in our psyches. What have we been searching for unconsciously, could it have been right there and we did not see it?
Purpose isn’t found, it may be discovered, or more likely, it can be uncovered, and if so, it is also likely that once it is acknowledged, it is remembered. It’s vision starts unfolding as we begin to notice and wonder… and perhaps even see, what is known to us on some subconscious level, or remembered from somewhere deep inside us.
Seldom do we often discover our life’s purpose at an early age. Some do, but it is unusual when one does. It is more likely our purpose and the keys that open doors to the awareness of our purpose have been opened through the years by slowly unearthing our talents and abilities. Our choices become important, such as the example of the split-second decisions a driver in a car or a pilot must make.
The keys to our purpose and mission in life are buried there right inside us. Philosopher Manuel Delaflor argues that experience, meaning, and ontology are active constructions, not passive receptions of a knowable world. Once we see that categories are created by us humans, not discovered, our reality shifts from what we have been comfortable believing about what reality is to us, to what reality we are choosing to create for ourselves in our lives.
Is what we are doing for a living a coincidence or a life calling? Often, we feel forced into a certain job or lifestyle because of circumstances…maybe by family or just financial need. But most of us understand this because we’ve all been there too. But when we finally get to the point where we are frustrated, we can look at where we are and, honestly acknowledge why. We need to. we have to give ourselves permission to try and see ourselves and our lives differently—then begin to look for a way to achieve what we want in our lives.
It’s not as easy as that sounds. Like the old saying, how do you get to Carnegie Hall? Answer: Practice, practice, practice.’ You may have been doing that many times in your life—and skills you need to have you’ve likely accumulated…consciously or unconsciously prepared you for what’s ahead.
Now start mapping things out—what is your goal—be as concrete as possible, such as, ‘I want to work in a creative career.’ Ok, if so, which one? What do you think of as creative? Artistic creativity? Or maybe interior design? Architecture? Or more tech creativity—animation? Game design? Maybe it’s just a simple plan—want to work with your hands? Building? Renovating? Lots of businesses are in and affiliated with those fields. Or maybe it’s more of a culinary direction that beckons—do you like to cook and entertain? Have high energy? Starting something new will take a lot of it.
There has to be a commitment to a plan once you make it, and research on the career field so there are as few unpleasant surprises as possible.(You don’t want to be overwhelmed when you hear, i.e., it takes a gazillion dollars to start something.) Take little steps. Look at all the startup companies who begin online and build from there. Or start in the neighborhood, use ‘word of mouth,’ try unique approaches—and Persist! Everyone who makes a career change or starts something new will get frustrations.
Maybe if you are already retired it could be daunting to want to switch gears and start doing something else with your life, but make it ‘scalable’—for example, it would be hard to do a startup tech company without lots of money for programmers and design help.
If you’re not retired, then don’t leave your day job yet, but start your plan. Some people make whiteboards and draw or write out their goals and dreams, that’s the way to start making concrete attainable plans. Start paying more attention to what you are doing and/or daydreaming about.
I remember a song by Savage Garden, whose words spoke to me and reminded me of how we all know more about our futures than we believe:
Maybe it’s intuition
Somethings you just don’t question
Like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant
And there it goes, I think I’ve found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life…
There’s just no rhyme or reason
Only a sense of completion… (Daniel Jones, Darren Hayes, Musixmatch)
The haunting lines of ‘I Knew I Loved You,’ remind us of intuition—that unfathomable knowing. The writers of the song explored the connection between conscious mind and subconscious awareness, envisioning the future. The lyrics painted a picture of an instantaneous recognition that felt ordained, both ancient and anticipatory.
You get these feelings sometimes too. Start paying attention to them…to those nagging little thoughts and wishes…they may be trying to talk to you.
